My One Word: The Un-Resolution

Here it is the beginning of the first full week of January, and I'm finally finishing up a post I've been working on since the beginning of this month.  Procrastinate much??

I can't remember the last time I made a New Year's resolution. I know people who take great joy in starting a fresh list of things they'd like to accomplish in the new year...  but that kind of thing doesn't work for me. 

At the beginning of last year, I heard about My One Word on the radio.  I remember thinking it was a good idea, but didn't give it much thought after that.  This year several of my friends have decided to participate, so I decided to jump on the bandwagon.

In case you're not familiar with the concept, here's a little blurb from the My One Word website:

It’s okay to want to be a better you—and the New Year is a natural time to start. The question is, how? My One Word replaces broken promises with a vision for real change. When you choose a single word, you have a single focus. You are moving toward the future rather than swearing off the past.

With My One Word, you’re right where God wants you: in His hands. And it’s not an extreme makeover we’re talking about. This year, the goal is to see His work in one area of your life.

I'd been wanting to find my word since the first of the year, but never really took the time to think and pray about it until a couple weeks ago.  One morning as I was driving to work, I asked God to show me my word just as Steven Curtis Chapman's "Great Expectations" came on the radio.  I've heard this song so many times, I didn't even pay attention...  until I heard the words to the chorus:

Believe the unbelievable
Receive the inconceivable
And see beyond my wildest imagination
Lord, I come with great expectations

And there it was.  Believe.

To be honest, I struggle with believing.  My heart knows what is true, but oftentimes my head just can't get on the same page.  I so desperately want my mind to be in sync with my heart, but I'm constantly fighting it.  It's my nature to over-analyze, rationalize, worry, question...

I'm facing things in my life that are harder than anything I ever imagined.  And not a day goes by that I don't wonder why.  I am confident I'll get through this.  I know things won't always seem so hopeless.  I know God is good and can work miracles.

Merriam-Webster defines "believe" like this: to accept something as true, genuine, or real; to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something.

I wish it was my nature to trust and believe.  But it's not in anyone's nature.  Believing is a choice.  When someone becomes a Christian, they choose to believe that Jesus died for their sins.  Those who believe that God does not exist are choosing to believe this way. 

Believing is a conscious decision.  Not everyone who is facing difficult situations in life will choose to believe that God is faithful and hasn't abandoned them.  But I do.  I choose to believe that God has a plan in all of this, and that He knows what He's doing.  I choose to believe that He holds my future, and that His promises are true.  I choose to believe that He is able to do immeasurably more than anything I could ever ask for or imagine.  I believe.

I Believe In Love (by BarlowGirl)

How long will my prayers seem unanswered
Is there still faith in me to reach the end
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything

So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night.

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Though I can't see my stories ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
Its only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days

So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this Life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say

Even when He is silent
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

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