Fix-it Man

You know those guys who can fix just about anything?  That's my dad.  When I was growing up we never called an electrician.  We never used a plumber.  We never took our cars to a mechanic.  He was the house painter, roofer, appliance repairman, jeweler and every tradesman in between.  My dad fixed everything.  Okay, perhaps not *everything*, but it certainly seemed this way from a child's perspective, and there was something very reassuring about that.  Even now that I'm grown and married, I will still occasionally come to him with something that is in need of repair. 

There is one broken thing in my life right now that I know he'd fix if he could, but it's something that not even the best of doctors have been able to cure. 

My infertility. 

Oh how I wish I could place my broken body in his gentle hands, just like I did with a tangled necklace or busted toy when I was a little girl. 

I know my dad's heart breaks for me.  He doesn't have to verbalized this; he and I have a connection that often allows us to communicate without words.  What father wouldn't be deeply grieved to watch his daughter go through the most heartbreaking experience of her life, while he stands by utterly helpless to alleviate that pain?

A few weeks ago my dad was at our house to drop off a bookcase.  As he climbed in his van to leave, he paused and asked me if there was a specific shop where I was planning to take my digital piano to be repaired.  I answered his question about the repair shop and then he said, "I'm going to get your piano fixed."

"You don't have to," I said.

"I know.  But I want to." 

At that moment, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and that telltale giant lump in my throat.  I could read in his pain-filled eyes, words that didn't have to be spoken.  His eyes said he was tired of seeing his little girl in pain, and he so desperately wished he could repair her broken body. 

His eyes said, "As much as I wish I could fix you, I can't.  Please let me fix this." 

Thank you, Daddy.  I wish you could, too.  I love you. 

♥